free to move about

the seat belt light goes out and the captain’s voice comes through the speakers, “you may now move about the cabin”.  click. click. click. as the passengers unlatch themselves.

in our lives, no one should have such control over us that we feel as though we need their “ok” to move about.  there is respect and then, there is control.  in my past and to this day, i am the same way.  before i make plans, i ask my husband if we/he have anything going on and that i was thinking of doing xyz.  the outcomes of these moments are vastly contrasted between the two.

in the past.  it was more asking permission, one that, typically, was denied.  or, if not completely denied, the guilt tactic was used.  or the selfish tactic, how could i be so selfish to not want to spend time with him, why would i want to do that?  the seat belt light never went off.

now. i am encouraged to be me.  i am encouraged to do things, to go places.  it is not asking permission.  it’s what it is and always has been, respect for my husband.  i am okay with that.  he does the same for me.  we are equals, there is no permission slip that needs to be signed.  we encourage each other to be individuals.  connected at heart.

it took me some time to get used to this new-found freedom.  i never knew what it felt like to be me and married.  i was told i was selfish if i ever put myself first. now, i am told i am selfless and encouraged to be myself.

i tell people how i have the exact opposite of what i had before.  the antithesis.

you should not fear being yourself.  you should not feel as though you need permission to move about.

you are free to move about.